crossfitters:

Krystal Cantu: Sunday Funday. C&J’s at 75lbs and over the bar burpees

There’s an old writer’s adage: keep your hero in trouble.
portraitsofboston:

“Just the other day a gentleman stopped me and asked me why I wear the hijab. He thought I was forced to wear it, or it was because of the way I was raised and—for lack of a better word—brainwashed. I explained to him that we are raised with certain values, but other than that, parents encourage their children to do their own research and find what works for them. This is my choice. My parents actually weren’t very happy with it. On the other hand, my grandmother doesn’t wear the hijab. Her daughters and granddaughters wear it.Still, I understand why people notice it. We are very visual beings. It’s the first thing people see. But if you look at the origin of why women wear it, it’s because they’re very beautiful women. And they try to be muted and understated, and not draw attention to themselves. It’s human nature: When you have something very precious, you want to protect it. You want to cover it.I also think it’s a shame that we tend to focus on the differences between us. There are more similarities than differences. If you look at Christianity, for instance, in every single visual representation of the Virgin Mary she is covering her head. By the way, as Muslims, we do believe in the Virgin Mary. We have a whole chapter in the Quran devoted to her and what a strong woman she was. My grandmother’s name is Mariam, which comes from Mary, and she was named after the Virgin Mary because she was born on Christmas Day.  She is Muslim, and her parents were Muslim, but that’s how much respect we have for Mary as a woman. She is actually one of my favorite historical figures. No one had to deal with more hardships than she did. I come from a long line of strong women. I look at the Virgin Mary, and she looks like me and dresses like me. I feel very inspired by her.”

portraitsofboston:

“Just the other day a gentleman stopped me and asked me why I wear the hijab. He thought I was forced to wear it, or it was because of the way I was raised and—for lack of a better word—brainwashed. I explained to him that we are raised with certain values, but other than that, parents encourage their children to do their own research and find what works for them. This is my choice. My parents actually weren’t very happy with it. On the other hand, my grandmother doesn’t wear the hijab. Her daughters and granddaughters wear it.
Still, I understand why people notice it. We are very visual beings. It’s the first thing people see. But if you look at the origin of why women wear it, it’s because they’re very beautiful women. And they try to be muted and understated, and not draw attention to themselves. It’s human nature: When you have something very precious, you want to protect it. You want to cover it.
I also think it’s a shame that we tend to focus on the differences between us. There are more similarities than differences. If you look at Christianity, for instance, in every single visual representation of the Virgin Mary she is covering her head. By the way, as Muslims, we do believe in the Virgin Mary. We have a whole chapter in the Quran devoted to her and what a strong woman she was. My grandmother’s name is Mariam, which comes from Mary, and she was named after the Virgin Mary because she was born on Christmas Day.  She is Muslim, and her parents were Muslim, but that’s how much respect we have for Mary as a woman. She is actually one of my favorite historical figures. No one had to deal with more hardships than she did. I come from a long line of strong women. I look at the Virgin Mary, and she looks like me and dresses like me. I feel very inspired by her.”

I’m toying with the idea …

of taking up CrossFit, so I’m following a couple of women’s cross fit blogs.

Some of it is impressive, inspirational stuff. Some of it makes me say, ‘whoa, how the sam hill did she do that?’

And some of it, straight up, looks like faintly veiled porn.

Why is that?

thefinalimage:

Thelma & Louise | 1991 | dir. Ridley Scott

Watching a movie for the first time while already knowing the ending can sometimes create for a taxing experience, but in this case, knowing the ending helps you feel the descent of Thelma (Geena Davis) and Louise (Susan Sarandon) more strongly, and because Davis and Sarandon are so good in their roles and because the hardships their characters go through are so terrible, you continuously root for them, and even applaud them during this final tragic scene. 

-01SentenceReviews

thefinalimage:

The Last of the Mohicans | 1992 | dir. Michael Mann

thefinalimage:

The Last of the Mohicans | 1992 | dir. Michael Mann

Portobello Road Market.

Antique pocket watch.

Fed has taken it to a 5th. Hot damn.
Hi there. Just wanted to drop you a note to say that I've been a fan of your fiction writing since Evoking Passions, which I've read dozens of times. I appreciate you taking the time to write such wonderful stories about Calzona. Love Bailero!

Thank you, petal. Those are very kind words.

Constructive criticism

googooplex100,

A new review has been posted to your story.

Story: Bailero
Chapter: 23. Chapter 18

From: Guest
—————————-

:So while I continue to enjoy your story and this chapter too I have to say, and I hope this will be recognised as it is intended, I.e as constructive criticism.

You could really do with an editor.

E.g while I found the arguments over r*** and r*** apologists„feminism, the burqa and the hijab interesting I’m nt convinced that including same, or at least in the detail you chose to include was necessary or helpful in progressing the story.

I would almost go so far as saying it was a bit self indulgent. We all do that,us wannabe writers, but just for me it was not conducive to the storyline. As topical discussions very interesting, as part of a fic, way too much.

Just because you have an idea for a tangential storyline does not mean every dea has to be included, sometimes less is more.

As far as the storyline itself I’m glad to see finally things are progressing although honestly in some ways this chapter feels like filler to me, well written filler, but still filler. There have been several such chapters now IMHO.

All of which sounds like I’m just carping and not enjoying but I am enjoying the story even if at times it feels like I’m just hanging on in the hope of something actually happening.

—————————-

I could do with an editor.

I do agree with that. This story, ostensibly, a romance is unfeasibly long for that genre. I do understand that and there are probably 2 distinct stories that I’m trying to tell all rolled up into one.

The aim of this specific chapter was to demonstrate the progression in their relationship, particularly from Arizona’s point of view. The earlier parts of the story had Callie doing most of the leg work, being more willing to explore her feelings for Arizona and I really wanted to “show” how much Arizona had changed.

The arguments they had towards the end were self-indulgent? Do you mean that, I the writer, was inserting myself into the story to air my views or preach to the reader? Hmm? Not entirely certain I agree though I would admit that I was concerned the scene might be viewed that way.

Topical discussions with too much detail for a fic?
Had this been a paperback novel, available at Barnes and Noble or Foyles, would you think that the level of detail was too much? (As much as that sounds like sarcasm, it genuinely isn’t). On occasion I’ve been told that, paraphrasing here, this is just a fanfic and I should get over my pretension. How does one demonstrate a new couple having a very serious argument over a very serious matter, without fully expressing their thoughts and feelings on the matter?
There were a number of things that I wanted to do with that scene; to show how far they’ve come as a couple, to show that they are modern women living in a modern world and that they don’t necessarily share the same values. The debate about the burqa and the hijab was some acknowledgement that the couple come from different races, have different upbringings and may well have different perspectives on matters of race and religion. I hadn’t initially planned to have 2 contentious debates one after the other but the opportunity presented itself towards the the of the argument about rape culture. In truth I was concerned that the arguments were wrapped up too quickly to be realistic.

In regards to this chapter merely being filler (and that nothing really happened ….)
Sure, I could have left the Russian housekeeper out, but I think she provided a laugh.
I could have left the sex out.
The conversation about moving in was to show progression in their relationship, likewise the 3 short scenes intimating the new domesticity of their lives.
The Portobello Road Market scene with the pocket watch was long and a little silly, it could have been truncated or left out in its entirety but I needed a jumping off point for Arizona to open up a little more. We see that she loves Callie, we hear her say the words it and she shows her love for Callie but she has never spoken of her previous relationship and I wanted to show that, to show how much she is now invested in her new life and relationship.
The cinema scene and the bit in the car was initially meant to be another sex scene but I didn’t get round to actually writing it! I left it in because the sentiments they shared are important to the story.
Mark’s scenes move the story forward as does the scene with Arizona and Martha contemplating the future of RMB.

I try to ensure that every scene has a purpose; to impart information, to develop character and finally to move the story forward.

I am verbose, that much is evident from my word count, (it’s evident from how long this reply is) but I’d like to think that while finding the shortest route from A to Z might get you to the destination in mind, you also tend to miss out on the journey, the scenery along the way. Yes, I know, that’s really tired analogy but you get my point.

Do you have any examples of work from which you think my writing could benefit?

I hope this doesn’t come off as defensive, it’s not meant to, even though I am, in fact, defending my writing style and choices but I do, sincerely, appreciate the comments. It was constructive, it has made me think about how I tell this story and will remind me in future chapters to keep on track.

I’m not always going to respond to comments, simply because I don’t always have the time but I do read all of them and take them seriously, especially when it comes to how I might improve my writing. This “War and Peace” response comes to you courtesy of a bout of insomnia.

Since you haven’t logged in I can’t respond privately, I may post this on Tumblr or somewhere.
Drop by again. Please.
And thank you.