wake up amarraca
john travolata is that you?
1. Only you can write this.
2. You were born to write this.
3. People need you to write this.
4. The world is waiting for you to finish this.
5. One day, someone will tell you how much they needed to read this.
6. You can write anything you set your mind to.
7. This has a glimmer of…
Read, read again. Read again. Read again and again and again.
So, you know, STFU forever about “it’s cheaper to eat healthy LOL poor people don’t get how money works!”
When I saw this scene, I was utterly convinced that there was a crocodile about to come take her out at the knees.
Without giving away too much of the story, I’m going to try and explain the rationale for some of Callie and Arizona’s actions especially in the last couple of chapters. This is mainly to respond to some anon comments over at FF.net.
There were a couple of comments that indicated some concern about Arizona’s behaviour during the infamous sleepwalking sex scene. My intention was to describe Arizona as being more than merely hesitant. I tried to show her attempting to calm and dissuade a very, very determined Callie but ultimately finding herself … seduced? unable and unwilling to say no to Callie.
The very last thing I wanted to portray was Arizona taking advantage of Callie. I would hate to think that this scene came across as implied dubious consent.
It wasn’t that at all.
Without getting embarrassingly technical about body positions and the like, during the initial sleepwalking sex, Callie wasn’t …ahem ….didn’t get any …. satisfaction but she did satisfy Arizona. Her reticence wasn’t about not wanting to share her body with Arizona but wanting to be truthful about her identity before they became intimate. In my mind, it dispels the issue / concern of Arizona violating Callie. Could Arizona have stopped Callie? Should she have stopped her? In this instance, I think it’s debatable but for the purposes of this story, her actions were meant to be innocuous.
Again, maybe I’m splitting hairs but my being facetious aside, I do feel very strongly about this and if there is any kind of consensus, I would consider going back and changing it.
The other issue that a couple of people raised was how “quickly” Arizona got over Callie’s revelation.
Also, conversely and If I’m not mistaken, there were even one or two comments about Arizona actually over-reacting. I’ll respond to those queries first.
Arizona didn’t overreact at all.
She had every reason and right to be pissed off with Callie for the simple fact that she had been lied to. That she had personal experience of being lied to and by someone she loved, was all the more reason for her to be hurt and angry. I wouldn’t however categorise Callie’s actions as a betrayal simply because Callie’s actions were about Callie and not Arizona.
Arizona getting hurt was collateral damage. Unintended but undeniable.
But did Arizona got over that hurt and anger a little too quickly? To that point, despite how chapter 16 ended, the story isn’t over yet. Not by quite a bit.(Curious, considering how long I’ve been writing the damn thing).
An anon reviewer stated that the identity plot line felt contrived because there was no pay off / unsatisfactory pay off. Contrived? Perhaps. But would the plot feel less contrived if there was a better pay off? Maybe that particular reviewer will feel differently by the end of the story. Maybe not. I can but try.
The slap? The slap was merely incidental and not, as suggested by another reviewer, a means of negating Callie’s culpability. The slap wasn’t there to even the score, it wasn’t there to make Arizona look bad. It was an instinctive reaction to Callie’s angry declaration of love. Certainly, it was a pretty poor show on Arizona’s part but I hope I was able to convey her remorse about it the following morning. (It may interest you to know that the slap actually wrote itself. I didn’t plan for it to happen but the words just flowed. I really wish that happened more often).
So, what else?
Part of me thinks that I’m failing as a writer because I need to explain my actions but by the same token I am happy to be challenged on my decisions. It helps me think.
Funny thing, there was one little thing I wrote in the last chapter. It’s kind of cryptic and could be interpreted in different ways but I really thought that it would set the cat amongst the pigeons, but no one mentioned it! Ha!
Serves me right for being a clever dick.
Anyway, that’s more than enough for an authors note.
See you all next time.
10k words is longer than my complete stories. You rock.
Your words are lovely, kind and generous … but the honest truth is that my chapters are so long because I have zero discipline. Or, to put it another way, I point blank refuse to cut anything I’ve written. I’m a terrible editor and ignore every single thing the creative writing courses teach. Except the rule that says make your characters suffer. Yeah, that one I can get on board with.
Chapter 17 of Bailero was meant to be frothy, light and fun.
I’m nearly 10k into the chapter and it’s clear to me that I don’t know what any of those words mean.
Must try harder.
Harold Ramis 1944-2014